I have this closet of mine which I normally just dump stuff into. A year or 2 later I realize that it's become a complete mess and decide to clear stuff out. And then I discover my treasure trove! I find loads of things that I have lost over the years and loads of things that were long forgotten...stuff that takes me back to my past...to the days of old! I love going through this closet..There is a bundle of emotions I encounter when I discover so many memories..happiness...sadness.. loneliness...and also wtf's! A kind of melancholy spreads through my entire being and this feeling reminds me of what I used to be,how I changed and also sometimes reasons for the change. And so every time I clean this closet, it barely ever gets clean. All it does is take me back in time..
Its started raining out here. Its much cooler than the sweltering heat but that alone isn't enough to make me feel any better. I absolutely hate the rains. I just find the season extremely depressing. I am at my crankiest best during the rains. And the fact that I can't seem to draw anything isn't making my mood any better. I used to love the rains once upon a time..and now I have no idea why I detest it so much. I wish there was a reason..wouldn't make me feel any better but hell at least I would know that there is a reason. Man, am so depressed. Geh